Sunday, August 31, 2008

to N. (readwritepoem#42)

Reading now: Jaime Saenz The Night (Almost Island) and from the Immanent Visitor

Translators: Kent Johnson and Forrest Gander

When I started to write again, in English this time, I had this big project in mind ;kind of a Philokalia ; a long, long poem about love and beauty that was supposed to carry the reader from Eros to Agape. Of course, half of it or more was so bad that I had to discard it, however I kept some fragments that had potential and I am now trying to revise them and re-write them into poems that could stand on their own. One of the fragments was the Waltz I used for the bare bone project; this will be another one –the last fragment- initially wrote as a farewell to a cherished friend.

The part were she bids her farewell (I bestow…)is not far from what I wrote originally but the poem needed desperately a first part –for balance. I had no idea how this first part will look like until I read Saenz , and here are a few lines that inspired me ;

"Come; I am nourished by your depiction/ and by your redolent melody,"[…] "come once ;I want to fulfill my passion for good-bye"


 


 

I see a shadow cover your eye

My love. Don't.

Hide not; you're my first quencher.

You are the pomegranate seed keeper;

Bestow me this sweet remembrance

tenderly painful;

for I too shall be departing

adrift in my lone dark night.

Come; you're the chalice bearer.

I bestow my load unto you:

Das Man, die Sorge

    to seek out in the one

    whom walks the sorrowful fields of Ash

    the answer.


 

Note:

Other "words' that inspired me here:

Martin Heidegger's: "Being and Time" – Das Man (the One) is the impersonal nature of the being (or prejudices, biases, social rules we abide by), while Die Sorge ( the Care, Worry) is one of most fundamental ways of the human being.

Saint John of the Cross: "One dark night,/fired with love's urgent longings[..]/I went out unseen,/my house being now all stilled."


 


 


 


 

    

14 comments:

gautami tripathy said...

That is truly good.

The first three lines are amazing...

I catch words haphazardly

durablepigments said...

The words sorrowful fields of Ash will stay with me...

Lirone said...

Loved the "pomegranate seed keeper"

J

Nathan said...

I will echo lirone's comment. There's a deep sorrow here.

Annamari said...

Thank you, for it is still work in progress. So I do appreciate that you pointed to me the lines/words that you liked the best...

Crafty Green Poet said...

my first quencher and the pomegranate seed keeper were my favourite phrases. There's a real sense of sadness here

twitches said...

I have to agree with the rest - those first lines are just fantastic.

christine said...

The you here could be a spiritual love or an earthly one, because of the different inspirations you list, but also because of the language, like thirst quencher and chalice bearer. A lovely poem. your intellectual pursuits are impressive.

Annamari said...

Christine : Yes,yes, he is meant to be both a spiritual brother and the object of desire (agape and eros). Plus I had been always fascinated by the erotic facets of religious poems like the ones written by Saint John of the Cross.
Gautami, Juliet, Twitches :I was so worried about “thirst quencher”- it seemed so trivial to me, so I am glad you liked it so much.
Lirone, Nathan : thanks…those pomegranate seeds that made her return to hell…
Ingrid: Yes, ‘sorrowful fields of Ash’ was one of my friend’s favorites after he read the whole first version. There were about 17 pages of poetry and that is what he noticed, so I said to myself that it must be good.

As for my readings, I had to read so many philosophy books –that was my first major. I had a core class that was all about Sein und Zeit (Being and Time) and all I am left with is those two words- das Man, die Sorge…

gingatao said...

That is a powerful and wellmade poem, Annamari. You are writing in a second language, you quote Heidegger, Saenz and St John of The Cross in the same post. You are doing an MBA, you read the Wall Street Journal, you use proper comprehensive footnotes and references on your posts. Most of the time I can't think of anything that wouldn't sound embarassingly ill-informed and slightly dumb to say here. Honest.

susan said...

"You are the pomegranate seed keeper."

I recently read a book that referenced Persephone so this line gave me pause. Glad I'm a reader and even more glad I read your poem.

Annamari said...

But Paul,
I’m a woman.
If nothing else you can tell me a thousand one times how smart, beautiful and talented I am. It won’t be considered repetitive, I promise. So please, dare.

Thanks for all your nice comments again.

one more believer said...

...dont, hide not... a perfect introduction... lovers passing... exchanging fleeting moments... spoken w/longing...

Annamari said...

one mre believer, thanks