Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Readwritepoem #94

We often misrepresent the devil
paint him dark(red)
like a rust stained angel of some sort…

when the devil was merely tinged
by a standard deviation (or two)
from redemption.

Now you believe that you must stay
right in the middle
no matter what stats, hypothesis ,interpretation …

for you fear God, as He’ll measure all justly
one step away from the path and you fall
no exception.

Once you taught yourself to ignore variances
like evil,
feeling safe beyond this blindness to color

for the Devil to loom closer. A made-up angel
you follow (now) in all faith.
See: you forgot it was just a matter of shade
When you made yourself blind to your color.

for the image prompt : Read Write Poem #94

20 comments:

Julie said...

Very powerful! I love the sound you have created in the lines. And, of course, the poem gives me much to think about. The first two stanzas pull me right in. It's a great prompt, too.

Ana said...

@Julie,

thank you.So the first two stanzas might be a keeper.
I am afraid that I did not intend to write a poem with a moral, but I guess I couldn't help it- I shall start writing contemporary fables.

Paul said...

That's a very cool poem with an idea more subtle than it appears at first. I like the way it sounds too a little rhyme and rhythm carries the reader through the poem.

Ana said...

Paul,

Hmm,I think you may see something in it I do not see or intended...meaning, maybe, just maybe it is really a keeper.Many thanks...

anthonynorth said...

The depth in this is intriguing and so very subtle.
Marvellous.

Paul Oakley said...

The statistical science of salvation.

Wow!

Very nice integration of image and and scientific paradigm.
_____

Paul Oakley
Blogging his ReadWritePoem poems at
Inner Light, Radiant Life

Francis Scudellari said...

I re-read this a couple times after seeing the "immigration" label, and it added an extra dimension I hadn't considered at first reading. There is a lot of depth here. I like the emphasis on shading, and the statistical references.

Ana said...

@Anthony
thank you...
@Paul O.
well stats and salvation do have one thing in common- they do assume that a population is diverse.
@Francis
What I like about the statistical concepts I used is that they are very intuitive: deviation from the norm is good enough for me in its common use...

Mark said...

Sucked me right in, and left me thinking.

I really like this, the idea, the construction, the pacing...

davidmoolten said...

I think using statistical terms as a religous metaphor is both wonderfully original and effective as it's instantly objective and quantitative when so much of the religious is qualitative and infinite. This blends (no pun intended) well with your simultaneous use of color, which has similar advantages.

briarcat said...

I like the devil as being only a standard deviation from redemption. The blending of stats and theology's an interesting one.
Lost you after the forth stanza--get the feeling that "you" is more specific at the end, but don't get the reference.

Cynthia Short said...

Quite thought-provoking...well done!

Ana said...

@Mark
thanks.
@David
I really didn't thought about it, not in these terms, so thank you for your interpretation.
@briarcat
"you" is any person who forgot that if you see in dark red and white the devil can sneak in because he is not dark-red , neither is an angel white - so no particular reference in mind.
@Cynthia
thanks

Linda said...

The hues of your poem weave an interesting tale. I enjoyed the scientific measurements of "faith". The blending of these ideas creates a uniquely different view of good and evil. Thank you, Anais.

djvorreyer said...

paint him dark(red)
like a rust stained angel of some sort…

when the devil was merely tinged
by a standard deviation (or two)
from redemption.

These opening lines are wonderful.

Deb said...

This is so powerful. I love the ideas expressed, and how. A reminder that the Christian Devil was once an angel, and how muddy the lines really are. Fabulous. It calls culture on the carpet.

Tumblewords: said...

Intriguing. The many shades of sin and redemption. Nice!

Ana said...

@Linda,
thank you, I do appreciate the interpretation. Yes genuine faith is not a matter of science...
@Donna
I agree, the first two are a keeper
@Deb
I guess the idea of muddiness from Murdoch stayed with me. Yes he was an angel with only one sin, one flaw-pride, for the rest he was better than all other angels
@Tumblewords
yes, I am afraid there are not clear cut lines

gautami tripathy said...

So much rhythm in there!

let the red bleed

Ana said...

@gautami:thanks