Friday, July 16, 2010

Big Tent Poetry (a Draft)

Part II –History of Metals (From gold to steel)
Do not fault others. It was me. This is no country
for gullible men.

History (1) : after the days of the may flower the people who found the lands here to be more fertile brought steel pieces by thousands, by sea, to build new cities and Industries.

History (2) : back then, back there...

                   it was decreed that gold and silver are better than steel

                    thus steel, only used for menial pieces, was never awarded full value.

Yet here the lands, amorphous patches of raven earths randomly interrupted
                                                                               by water or mountain or human

were always flowing, never a pattern. Just to contain it’ll be enough trouble ,no fuss about metals
                                                                                      -ships brought in steel by the thousands.

Molten steel molded the land into patterns. It belonged here - a country for steel.

History(3):  a fact

                  so it was discovered that steel is better than gold and silver.

                 More flexible, it endured more.

                 Sharper edges, it cut deeper & further

History (4):  new patterns erected in steel. This land reshaped grew taller and faster. They said growth is good but it required order.
And to order is to set limits -boundaries
narrow down comprehensibility
to avoid confusion we  now decree
there is one kind of steel
stronger, whiter , sharper and lighter
to stand above the others.
(as the quality of steel is contained
by its skin...)

Note: this draft is a fragment from a longer poem project of mine.
But I think the code is not that hard to decipher ... the fragment is quite self-sufficient.

Note: other answers  to Monday’s prompt — the guest maestro’s idea to write using a hidden code


Elizabeth said...

Am not seeking a code, just enjoying the words, structure, and History lessons in metaphor.



Crafty Green Poet said...

Excellent, I particularly like the amorphous patches of raven earths, but the whole thing is compelling

Ana said...

Thank you
On the descriptive side , a bird eye view of here (Americas) versus there (Europe) is going to discover more patches of land that were not re-shaped by humans…Even today, even now…But there is the other side of socio-cultural rules and structures , and I do like when I draw a parallel between nature and nurture…

brenda w said...

I love the use of steel to anchor the piece. Raven earth is beautiful. This is full of great imagery. I'd love to see the completed piece in its entirety when you get there. Thanks for sharing. ~Brenda

Ana said...

Thank you, Brenda.I hope you are very, very patient -I started this in the winter, and this only the second part...