Friday, September 4, 2009

And yet another translation...

Another attempt to translate one of my favorite poems by George Bacovia. According to his critics, Bacovia started as a symbolist poet who transcends the style in his later works. The poems I did translate by now: "Lead", Purple Twilight and Lacustrine are among his earlier writings and are part of the first volume he published, "Plumb"/ "Lead".
This is the poem used to title the collection, and probably the best from this volume...


Dormeau adânc sicriele de plumb,
Şi flori de plumb şi funerar vestmânt -
Stam singur în cavou... şi era vânt...
Şi scârţâiau coroanele de plumb.

Dormea întors amorul meu de plumb
Pe flori de plumb, şi-am început să-l strig -
Stam singur lângă mort... şi era frig...
Şi-i atârnau aripele de plumb.


The lead coffins were lying deeply-asleep
Beside lead flowers and burial clothing –
I was alone in the crypt … the wind was blowing…
And the lead wreaths used to creak.

My lead amour was curling up asleep
On the lead flowers, so I began to shout at him-
I was alone with the dead… the air would chill…
And his lead wings would dangle.

Again, any suggestions and critiques are welcomed.

And the bonus is a French translation:

1 comment:

Paul said...

Brilliant. It's a fascinating poem, your version is full of tone and sound.